Our new drill is, as soon as it is reasonably light, Mama does her two miles and then takes me for my walk. This morning she got off extra early and was pounding down the street when a Pomeranian ran out of the woods and started barking at her.
Mama: Darn, I don’t have a leash, but I see you have a collar.
Dog: Yap, yap, yap.
Mama: You from these parts ?
Dog: Yap, yap, yap, (backing away onto someone’s lawn)
Mama: I bet you live in one of these houses. I am going to keep you barking until your owner appears. ( The Mater is such a Nancy Drew………)
Dog: Blah, blah ragtime bullshit.
After dog fired off about 30 acoustical salvos (Ainsley speak), sure enough, a man leisurely walks out with a cup of coffee and says “I see you have met Pugsley” (or some such). “Cute, isn’t he ?”
Mama: It was swell, you are well protected. Later Dudes. Resumes pounding.
Now for my walk. We are almost back home when a man appears, walking two dogs off leash. Naturally the larger one starts walking towards me.
Mama: Well F*****K !
Man: Excuse me?
Mama: Where the hell are your leashes?
Man: Very offended tone….. In my hand..come on Zoe and Zoette (or whaterver), heel.
Mama is about to say……yah think you could obey the leash law….then she decides it wouldn’t make a difference.
The rest of our patrol (Ainsley speak) is free of further incidents.
Thank Dog it’s Friday!