Someone we know is “getting back into shape”. This entails old physical therapy exercises, sometimes running up our stairs ten times, eating a bag of Lima beans, period, and now, going for a “brisk walk” currently timing in at 35 minutes. The brisk walk does not include me, but this is a good thing apparently, because it means an extra walk at a much faster pace for her, and I still get the same number of walks. Walks with Mama can be less than idyllic anyway. Today, on our long walk, she sez, “I have four words for you….fleas, ticks and snakes.”: . This is Mama shorthand for hell no, you cannot go wallow in that delicious smelling tall grass; plunge into the woods, (dragging Mama with me) or trail through a neighbor’s unmowed yard. The Mater’s radar has been on extra alert since our next door neighbor found two baby copperheads in his driveway this week. Protesting this with a pained look or a sad face doesn’t work. Pointing out that all the other dogs we are friends with on FB get to do all of that and MORE, provokes this timeless piece of wisdom..”.If all the other dogs jumped off the Empire State Building, would you want to?” It’s all so WRONG. I am taking my Goose and going to bed. And we are taking her side of the bed.